Since no one reads my posts nowadays, i can say this is a space for me to vent out my frustrations and anger. Sad to say the start of the new year hasn’t had so much of an impact in my emotional journeys. In fact it’s more of a volcano waiting to erupt.

Who says sibling rivalry is good? Am i really being too sensitive? but yet i was born with this and the fact that its taking me quite long to adapt shows that it’s actually a part of me. There are pros and cons on being sensitive, mainly you get to understand the needs of others and learn how to respond to it. On the other hand, it’s just eating at your insides. Unfortunately i don’t have the luxury of time afforded to me based on how my life revolves.

Firstly i have a self obnoxious sister who thinks she’s right in everything just because she’s the oldest and has already started working for two years. She’s rude and unruly. She doesn’t give a fuck about what others think or feel by just shooting off her mouth as and when she likes. Criticizing my hair, my fashion, my ways of living. FUCK MAN.

the younger one thinks she’s so high and mighty just because she’s strong in the spiritual world. Thinks our way of living is wrong and we should adhere to hers. God if you’re reading this, please do say something to her. To give thought to those from other church and not look at them with a tinted lens. I do hope some revelation comes to her and that she will show more empathy to those around her. Telling me how to lead a relationship with my girlfriend just doesn’t go down well with me no matter how you put it. You can call it ego or me just not growing up. But it hurts.

The youngest, good and bad at times but gangs up on you real hard when the other two takes advantage. She lights up my life but sometimes just destroys it.

God give me strength to go through all these and i do hope that one day i will be able to love like you and accept all these criticisms. After all life goes on and me complaining through this portal is mainly just to vent my frustrations.

I’m going to leave it up to you God and i hope you will show mercy on me as i start to overcome my ways and start afresh.

Protected: Hold on to the night, there will be no shame.

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emotion filled heart

It’s 2011, a brand new year. New resolutions have been made, new goals have been set and it comes to the point in time where you look back at 2010 and improve on yourself for the things you wished you had done and the goals you wished you had achieved. But have we ever sat down and counted our blessings? Today at tuition i was reminded again of how blessed i am teaching those two kids. The mum came over and asked me how much to charge her second child. I couldn’t bring myself to say another 200 more so i let her chose and i just accepted whatever she said. After all i’m only teaching her kid for one hour and he’s in primary one. But they have given me nothing but niceness since i’ve been there. Like lending me the car to use and giving me meals each time i go over. It really is a blessing indeed. In life, we must be contented if not there will not be any satisfaction. take things slow and if it comes it comes. don’t get me wrong on this statement lacking ambition and goals and drive. I’m full of those three but i really feel that sometimes chasing after those may not be suitable all the time. It’s really good to count your blessings and appreciate the lil things ppl do in your life. Greet someone with a smile and for all you know you could be doing wonders. Happy 2011 everyone! may 2011 be the best year yet for you!=D

Pictures of 2010,

A Picture i came across on the gf’s tumblr. Nice.



The Team that churned out a report and started on the module 2-3 days before submission. NTU ROCKS.

Another picture i came across on the gf’s tumblr. CUTE!

Thanks Rachel for being my special friend.=D

And thanks ZH for the christmas gift. I love it.

 

And thank you Sisters for the lovely bday gift. HAHA

I received a whole load of gifts from the gf as well as she came back from europe but i’m too lazy to take. hahaha.

Anyways think positive and move forward!=D

2011 FTW!!!

Protected: If you fall asleep down by the water

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I don’t like the way you lie.

On the first page of our story
The future seemed so bright
Then this thing turned out so evil
I don’t know why I’m still surprised
Even angels have their wicked schemes
And you take that to new extremes
But you’ll always be my hero
Even though you’ve lost your mind

[Chorus]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Ohhh, I love the way you lie

[Rihanna]
Now there’s gravel in our voices
Glass is shattered from the fight
In this tug of war, you’ll always win
Even when I’m right
‘Cause you feed me fables from your hand
With violent words and empty threats
And it’s sick that all these battles
Are what keeps me satisfied

[Chorus]

[Rihanna]
So maybe I’m a masochist
I try to run but I don’t wanna ever leave
Til the walls are goin’ up
In smoke with all our memories

[Eminem]
This morning, you wake, a sunray hits your face
Smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction
Hush baby, speak softly, tell me I’ll be sorry
That you pushed me into the coffee table last night
So I can push you off me
Try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me
Run out the room and I’ll follow you like a lost puppy
Baby, without you, I’m nothing, I’m so lost, hug me
Then tell me how ugly I am, but that you’ll always love me
Then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the
Destructive path that we’re on, two psychopaths but we
Know that no matter how many knives we put in each other’s backs
That we’ll have each other’s backs, ’cause we’re that lucky
Together, we move mountains, let’s not make mountains out of molehills,
You hit me twice, yeah, but who’s countin’?
I may have hit you three times, I’m startin’ to lose count
But together, we’ll live forever, we found the youth fountain
Our love is crazy, we’re nuts, but I refused counsellin’
This house is too huge, if you move out I’ll burn all two thousand
Square feet of it to the ground, ain’t shit you can do about it
With you I’m in my f-ckin’ mind, without you, I’m out it

 

Listening to this song makes one get in touch with their inner self. The song mainly describes how a girl feels and probably will have no choice but to succumb to a guy’s egoistic claims when the guy hits the girl. How sad. Girls i sympathize with you and pls stand up and be counted. I don’t love the way you always claim that you need settlement and what not. You make it seem like its all about the $$$ and though you claim it’s not i highly doubt that you’re saying its not. Because of that you don’t feel well or at ease and you make yourself sick. I don’t like the way you do things and so how ppl’s life are going to get altered because you feel hang.

God gave us a decision to move on and i believe that it’s a decision that we all decide to embrace or not. The reason why you’re so uptight is because you refuse to embrace it. God i pray you let her feel at ease and create a better atmosphere in the family.

I don’t wish to be the ostracized one but i do think u’re not treating a human right.

OH STOP THESE NONSENSE!!! =(

 

Growing up

I was at yikying’s Sister’s wedding dinner last night and i just felt that all my friends are growing up! Life changes for each and everyone of us but i do hope we still support one another through thick and thin. Congrats Jan. I hope you’ll have a wonderful married life with malvin!=D

It felt like yesterday that i just made friends with darlinks but it’s already more than a decade and i would say we have certainly grown closer to one another. Well let’s continue growing and experiencing life’s stories! and forever we shall be known as darlinks!=D

Marching on

For those days we felt like a mistake,
Those times when love’s what you hate,
Somehow,
We keep marching on.

For those nights when I couldn’t be there,
I’ve made it harder to know that you know,
That somehow,
We’ll keep moving on.

There’s so many wars we fought,
There’s so many things we’re not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
We’re marching on,
(We’re marching on)
(We’re marching on).

For all of the plans we’ve made,
There isn’t a flag I’d wave,
Don’t care if we bend,
I’d sink us to swim,
We’re marching on,
(We’re marching on)
(We’re marching on).

For those doubts that swirl all around us,
For those lives that tear at the seams,
We know,
We’re not what we’ve seen,

For this dance we’ll move with each other.
There ain’t no other step than one foot,
Right in front of the other.

There’s so many wars we fought,
There’s so many things we’re not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
We’re marching on,
(We’re marching on)
(We’re marching on).

For all of the plans we’ve made,
There isn’t a flag I’d wave,
Don’t care if we bend,
I’d sink us to swim,
We’re marching on,
(We’re marching on)
(We’re marching on).

Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right,
We’re marching on.

We’ll have the days we break,
And we’ll have the scars to prove it,
We’ll have the bonds that we save,
But we’ll have the heart not to lose it.

For all of the times we’ve stopped,
For all of the things I’m not.

We put one foot in front of the other,
We move like we ain’t got no other,
We go when we go,
We’re marching on.

There’s so many wars we fought,
There’s so many things we’re not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
We’re marching on,
(We’re marching on)
(We’re marching on).

Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right, right, left, right,
Right, right,
We’re marching on.

Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right, right, left, right,
Right, right,
We’re marching on.

That’s right, march rite on because you’ll never know if an opportunity is right ahead. I’ve settled my IA applications and have decided to join back hall soccer because i just want to do something that is enjoyable to me this semester. Hopefully my IA application gets through an i’ll be super happy. God please help me!!!=D

And whatever lemons that life throws at me i will definitely march on! i shall not be affected by it and with that a new chapter begins.

To my readers out there thanks for keeping faith in this blog. LOL but you guys got to stay strong too!:DD

Cheers! let’s march on to greater success!

Lyrics by One Republic.

The club can’t even handle me now

That little feeling goes begging. Begging for something we all yearn for. The approval. In life, we tend to make decisions that will ultimately come back to haunt us in the future but should we be affected? Ask yourself what or how circumstances can make your day turn sour. We’ve all seen it happening one way or another but it’s just a matter of how we handle it. So if the club can’t handle me then i’ll turn it in my favour and handle the club. LOL cliche but it’s another vent on life happening around me. kthxbye.

Wrinkled hands = to unknown future

My mum’s been complaining we haven’t been spending time with her and she thinks we don’t love her. I told her she should just think positive. Her actions these past two weeks have really made me questioned what will happen in the future when i have a wife. My sisters leave most of the cleaning to me. most of the organizing to me. They are all absorbed in their own world and thus to appease my mum, i’ll sacrifice most of the time.

Gf complained once when i had to juggle between mum and her. But now she’s more or less used to it. But i can’t say for the future. It may backfire on me.

So once again wrinkled hands came upon me as i hand mopped the floor to make it clean and to be pushed into the wilderness regarding my future.

God help me.

Stanwin

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